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  • Originally posted by scott023 View Post
    Hard not to give the A+ on that, well thought out answer.
    Heard this story back in college. Love the joke.

    Comment


    • Originally posted by 03 35th Anniversary View Post
      You'd be amazed at some of the short falls of a hormonal collage guy!
      Been there...

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      • The other day I was having s-x with my girlfriend when she said, "Darling could you put it in the other hole for a change? I really like it there."

        To which I replied, "No way! I'm not risking getting you pregnant"
        The sea, once it casts it's spell, holds one in it's net of wonder forever - Jacques Cousteau

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        • Mrs. Jones is doing another word test in her 2nd grade class, and asks the kids to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.

          Sally tries first, and says: "I am fascinated by earth's orbit around the sun".

          Mrs. Jones compliments Sally on her combination of science and language arts, but points out that her tense form of the word "fascinate" is technically incorrect.

          Dirty Jonny eagerly volunteers to correctly use "fascinate". Mrs. Jones capitulates and calls on him.

          Dr. Jonny offers: "My Aunt Betty's sweater has 10 buttons, but her tits are so big, she can only fasten eight".

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          • I was chatting up a woman in a bar last night and telling her of my ability to tell the day any woman was born by holding their breasts in my hands.

            She thought I was full of it but was curious none the less. Eventually curiosity got the better of her and she said give it a try!

            I stood there feeling her breasts for about a minute before she finally lost her patience and asked, "So? When was I born?"

            "Yesterday."
            The sea, once it casts it's spell, holds one in it's net of wonder forever - Jacques Cousteau

            Comment


            • Awesome.


              Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
              2020 Table Rock Mastercraft Reunion Poker Run Champion

              I lead the fight to ban the swimsuit thread, help me bring it back: https://teamtalk.mastercraft.com/sho...58#post1494758

              "LDA never saw a thread he couldn't run off the rails"

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              • A wealthy man took out an ad in the paper for someone to come and do some painting for him. He lived in a really large home with a beautiful wraparound porch, and he needed someone to paint it. "Porch painter needed" the ad said. He didn't get rich by overspending, so he picked the lowest price response out of the bunch.

                The cheapest painter showed up and said "I'm ready to get to work!" Figuring the job would take most of the day, the wealthy man goes about the house doing leisurely activities.

                The painter comes back to him half an hour later and says he's done.

                The wealthy man says, "That's amazing! It only took you 30 minutes to paint my porch?!"

                ...

                The cheap painter said, "yessir, I'm finished. But best I can figure, that car's a Ferrari, not a porch."
                1985 19 Skier (Stars & Stripes) - “Twinkle”
                2007 X2 - "The Sun Squirrel" - Sold
                2000 PS195 - Sold

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                • Two Rednecks, Larry and Doug, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Larry turns to Doug and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes."

                  Doug thinks it's a good idea and the two leave. The next day, Larry goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic.

                  "Logic?" Larry says. "What's that?"

                  The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"

                  "Yeah."

                  "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard."

                  "That's true, I do have a yard."

                  "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house."

                  "Yes, I do have a house."

                  "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."

                  "Yep, I have a family alright."

                  "I'm not done yet.. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual."

                  "I am a heterosexual! That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater."

                  Excited to take the class now, Larry shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Doug at the bar. He tells Doug about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

                  "Logic?" Doug says, "What's that?"

                  Larry says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?"

                  "Nope," replies Doug.

                  "Yer a h-mo, ain't ya?"
                  The sea, once it casts it's spell, holds one in it's net of wonder forever - Jacques Cousteau

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by slalomjunkie View Post
                    Two Rednecks, Larry and Doug, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Larry turns to Doug and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes."

                    Doug thinks it's a good idea and the two leave. The next day, Larry goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic.

                    "Logic?" Larry says. "What's that?"

                    The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"

                    "Yeah."

                    "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard."

                    "That's true, I do have a yard."

                    "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house."

                    "Yes, I do have a house."

                    "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."

                    "Yep, I have a family alright."

                    "I'm not done yet.. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual."

                    "I am a heterosexual! That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater."

                    Excited to take the class now, Larry shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Doug at the bar. He tells Doug about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

                    "Logic?" Doug says, "What's that?"

                    Larry says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?"

                    "Nope," replies Doug.

                    "Yer a h-mo, ain't ya?"
                    Lmafo

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by slalomjunkie View Post



                      "Yer a h-mo, ain't ya?"

                      Love it!!


                      Sent from my crappy iPhone 6.

                      Comment


                      • Finally, I got a laugh


                        ====

                        An Old man is walking down the street one afternoon when he sees a woman with perfect breasts.

                        He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $100?"

                        "Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away.

                        He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.

                        "Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000?" he asks again.

                        "Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?"

                        So the little old man runs around the next block and faces her again.

                        "Would you let me bite your breasts - just once - for $10,000?!"

                        She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmmmm, $10,000... Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."

                        So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them - but not biting them.

                        The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, 'Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?'

                        "Nah," says the little old man... "Costs too much..."
                        The sea, once it casts it's spell, holds one in it's net of wonder forever - Jacques Cousteau

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by slalomjunkie View Post
                          Two Rednecks, Larry and Doug, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Larry turns to Doug and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes."



                          Doug thinks it's a good idea and the two leave. The next day, Larry goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic.



                          "Logic?" Larry says. "What's that?"



                          The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"



                          "Yeah."



                          "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard."



                          "That's true, I do have a yard."



                          "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house."



                          "Yes, I do have a house."



                          "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."



                          "Yep, I have a family alright."



                          "I'm not done yet.. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual."



                          "I am a heterosexual! That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater."



                          Excited to take the class now, Larry shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Doug at the bar. He tells Doug about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.



                          "Logic?" Doug says, "What's that?"



                          Larry says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?"



                          "Nope," replies Doug.



                          "Yer a h-mo, ain't ya?"


                          Lol.


                          Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by slalomjunkie View Post
                            Finally, I got a laugh





                            ====



                            An Old man is walking down the street one afternoon when he sees a woman with perfect breasts.



                            He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $100?"



                            "Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away.



                            He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.



                            "Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000?" he asks again.



                            "Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?"



                            So the little old man runs around the next block and faces her again.



                            "Would you let me bite your breasts - just once - for $10,000?!"



                            She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmmmm, $10,000... Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."



                            So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them - but not biting them.



                            The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, 'Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?'



                            "Nah," says the little old man... "Costs too much..."


                            Brilliant!


                            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

                            Comment


                            • There’s a guy named Jack. He has a girlfriend named Wendy. Jack is hopelessly in love with Wendy, and decides to ask her to marry him. To prove how much he loves her, he goes and gets “Wendy” tattooed on his p-nis, as a gesture of loyalty. When he’s erect, his p-nis shows her name, and when it’s limp, it reads “Wy”

                              So, the next night, they have passionate sex, and when Wendy sees her name on Jack’s member, he pops the question, and she accepts.

                              They decide to go to Jamaica for their honeymoon. Once down there, they decide to try out all of the local culture, including a nude beach. They go to the beach, and are having a great time, when Jack decides to get up from sunbathing and go and get something to drink at the bar down the beach.

                              So, he walks over to the bar, with his limp p-nis, trying not to let his eyes wander; he doesn’t want to embarrass himself. He orders a drink from the guy at the bar, and while making the drink, he notices that the bartender, also naked, has “Wy” tattooed on his limp p-nis as well.

                              So Jack says to the guy, “Wow, what a coincidence! Hey, do you have a girlfriend named ‘Wendy’, and her name tattooed on your dick too?”

                              And the bartender looks down at Jack’s member, back to his and starts laughing. He says, “No, mon. Mine says ‘Welcome to Jamaica, mon. Have a nice day.'”
                              The sea, once it casts it's spell, holds one in it's net of wonder forever - Jacques Cousteau

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by slalomjunkie View Post
                                There’s a guy named Jack. He has a girlfriend named Wendy. Jack is hopelessly in love with Wendy, and decides to ask her to marry him. To prove how much he loves her, he goes and gets “Wendy” tattooed on his p-nis, as a gesture of loyalty. When he’s erect, his p-nis shows her name, and when it’s limp, it reads “Wy”

                                So, the next night, they have passionate sex, and when Wendy sees her name on Jack’s member, he pops the question, and she accepts.

                                They decide to go to Jamaica for their honeymoon. Once down there, they decide to try out all of the local culture, including a nude beach. They go to the beach, and are having a great time, when Jack decides to get up from sunbathing and go and get something to drink at the bar down the beach.

                                So, he walks over to the bar, with his limp p-nis, trying not to let his eyes wander; he doesn’t want to embarrass himself. He orders a drink from the guy at the bar, and while making the drink, he notices that the bartender, also naked, has “Wy” tattooed on his limp p-nis as well.

                                So Jack says to the guy, “Wow, what a coincidence! Hey, do you have a girlfriend named ‘Wendy’, and her name tattooed on your dick too?”

                                And the bartender looks down at Jack’s member, back to his and starts laughing. He says, “No, mon. Mine says ‘Welcome to Jamaica, mon. Have a nice day.'”
                                I'm lost. Shouldn't the bartender's tattoo say "Wa?"

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