Morning Joke Thread

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • sizzler
    MC Maniac
    • Aug 2004
    • 2671

    #16
    now i'm not bitter ,but

    Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to
    choose a
    >husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with
    the men
    >increasing in positive attributes as you ascended.
    >
    >The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to
    choose
    >a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back
    down
    >except to leave the place, never to return.
    >
    >A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some
    >husbands...
    >
    >First floor
    >
    >The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The
    women
    >read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job
    or not
    >loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went.
    >
    >Second floor
    >
    >The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are
    >extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder
    >what's
    >further up?"
    >
    >Third floor
    >
    >This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good

    >looking, love kids and help with the housework." "Wow," said the
    >women,
    >"Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they
    went.
    >
    >Fourth floor
    >
    >This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love
    kids,
    >are
    >extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong
    >romantic
    >streak." "Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be
    awaiting us
    >further on! So up to the fifth floor they went.
    >
    >Fifth floor
    >
    >The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to
    prove
    >that women are f ** king impossible to please. The exit is to your
    left, we
    >hope you fall down the stairs."
    KEEP YA TOES UP!!!!!

    2004 X9 MCX ALL BLACK


    http://www.prwb.net/tallington/index.php?id=12


    nice older x-boat at berth in the advertisment above

    Comment

    • ktn_cmu
      TT Enthusiast
      • Jul 2004
      • 308

      #17
      That's awesome!!!

      Comment

      • MarkP
        MC Addict
        • Jul 2004
        • 6975

        #18
        The exit is to your
        left!! !!


        The wife calls me abrasive
        The kids call me Daddy Sweetwater
        But the ladies, they just call me El Guapo

        Comment

        • Professor
          TT Enthusiast
          • Dec 2004
          • 439

          #19
          GREAT! Keep them coming...
          - where every family lives on the lake, every neighbor is a ski club member, and at every dock there is a Mastercraft

          Comment

          • JimN
            MC Master Poster
            • Jul 2004
            • 14089

            #20
            But wait, there's more!

            Comment

            • MasterMason
              TT Enthusiast
              • Jan 2005
              • 441

              #21
              Hopefully no one is offended, but I found it funny





              President Bush and Rumsfeld are sitting in a bar.

              A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that
              Bush and Rumsfeld sitting over there?"

              The bartender says, "Yep, that's them."

              So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a
              real honor! . What are you guys doing in here?"

              Bush says, "We're planning WW III."

              And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

              Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million
              Muslims and one blonde with big tits."
              The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits? Why
              kill a blonde with big tits?"

              Bush turns to Rumsfeld and says, "See, I told you
              no one CARES about the 140 million Muslims".
              Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your kids!!

              Comment

              • Hoosier Bob
                MC Platinum
                • Aug 2004
                • 8410

                #22
                I have to say I will be telling that one tomorrow even though it is offensive. I only repeat offensive jokes!
                Sorry!
                BAREFOOTING: I knew it was gonna hurt when I felt my arse cheeks hit me in the back of my head!

                !UOY NAHT RETSAF MA I TUB KNURD EB YAM I

                Comment

                • BriEOD
                  MC Platinum
                  • Jul 2004
                  • 9120

                  #23
                  Good one!
                  Brian

                  Former #2: 2000 ProStar 205

                  Former #1: 1987 ProStar 190

                  sigpic

                  Comment

                  • JohnnyB
                    MC Maniac
                    • Oct 2004
                    • 4403

                    #24
                    So this panda is tired of hanging around the zoo and decides one night, when his cage is accidently left open, that he's going to do what people do.

                    Being after dark, he's heads to the bar for some good 'ol fashion binge drinkin'

                    So this panda bear is sitting at the bar drinking some beers and is approached by a fine lady who asks him if he wants to go home with her.

                    So the panda bear obliges and goes back to this gal's place for a night of wild sex.

                    In the morning he gets up to leave to get back to the zoo, and she says

                    "You can't leave you have to pay me"

                    Panda bear says "why would I pay you"

                    Girl says "I'm a prostitute"

                    Panda bear says "yeah and I'm a Panda bear"

                    Girl says "you don't understand".....grabbing a dictionary, she shows the Panda the definition of prostitute: Person who has sex in exchange for money

                    Quickly thinking, the Panda Bear opens the dictionary to Panda and says "see, Panda Bear : Animal that eats bush and leaves"

                    "Good-bye"
                    Everyone Dies, but not everyone lives

                    2004 Prostar 197, ACME 843

                    Comment

                    • BriEOD
                      MC Platinum
                      • Jul 2004
                      • 9120

                      #25
                      Cute...
                      Brian

                      Former #2: 2000 ProStar 205

                      Former #1: 1987 ProStar 190

                      sigpic

                      Comment

                      • Professor
                        TT Enthusiast
                        • Dec 2004
                        • 439

                        #26
                        Didn't expect that one.
                        Last edited by Professor; 02-13-2005, 11:23 AM.
                        - where every family lives on the lake, every neighbor is a ski club member, and at every dock there is a Mastercraft

                        Comment

                        • bradamerry
                          MC Maniac
                          • Jul 2004
                          • 4385

                          #27
                          A blonde joke, imagine that !
                          Swaha Lodge Lake Greeson Akansas..... www.swahacabins.com

                          Comment

                          • JEREMY79
                            MC Maniac
                            • Jul 2004
                            • 2639

                            #28
                            good one
                            #1 supporter of wadka

                            Comment

                            • Ron Grover
                              TT Enthusiast
                              • Jul 2004
                              • 366

                              #29
                              Caution PG-13 rated






                              The University of Colorado spent $250,000 conducting a study on why the head of a mans ***** is larger than its shaft. At the end of the study they concluded that it was to provide greater pleasure for the man during sex.

                              Researchers at the University of Kansas did not agree with their findings so they spent $500,000 researching the same subject. Their conclusions were that the larger head was to provide greater pleasure for the woman during sex.

                              The University of Missouri wanted to settle the issue once and for all. They spent $11.25 on a study and concluded the head was larger to prevent your hand from slipping off and hitting yourself in the forehead.
                              MasterCraft...not just a boat...a lifestyle

                              Comment

                              • bradamerry
                                MC Maniac
                                • Jul 2004
                                • 4385

                                #30
                                Amen brother !
                                Swaha Lodge Lake Greeson Akansas..... www.swahacabins.com

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X